  New babies are everywhere in my village as of late. That means shopping for showers, sprinkles, and Christmas all in one. Personally, I think babies get way too many gifts for people who can't feed themselves or walk. I like to make my shower/new baby gifts to be geared more towards the needs of the mama. If anyone deserves a present, it is the sleep deprived woman who has just given, or is about to give, birth. Here are some of my go to gifts for moms of new babies. The Demdaco Giving Shawl I don't know about you but, my postpartum nights were spent swinging from sweating through my pjs with hot flashes to shivering because I cooled off halfway through the feeding session. This soft and sumptuous shawl is perfect for those late night/early morning feedings. It is perfect for throwing on when you need the extra warmth and it is easier to take off while rocking a baby than a cardigan or robe. It comes in a beautiful gift box and includes a bookmark with the sweetest note printed on it, "We all need a little comfort now and then…A reminder to help us know that we are not alone in the world…That there is someone in our corner, ready with a hug, no matter what. Always know you are being thought of, cheered on, and loved for exactly who you are - Someone who is beautiful and wonderfully made." Of course, the very best part is that IT HAS A POCKET! That was a godsend during long nursing sessions or when my boys fell asleep on me because it allowed me to have my Kindle and phone handy.  The Kindle Oasis That leads me to my next mom must have, the Kindle Oasis. Why this particular type of Kindle? Why can't mama just read on her phone? Well, with my first son, I tried reading on my phone while I was nursing but either the screen would irritate him or I'd end up doom scrolling and Amazon shopping instead of reading. This particular version of Kindle is made for using one handed. It is lightweight and has buttons conveniently located so that, instead of having to hold it in one hand while swiping to the next page with the other hand, you can turn the page with the thumb you are using to hold the device. This allows one hand free for that sweet bundle of joy. Plus, the night mode is perfect for keeping the screen light dim enough not to bother baby and, unlike reading on a phone, you aren't tempted to scroll or shop instead of reading!  Postpartum Affirmations and Journal for New Moms It says "for new moms" but, I would have loved to have had these positive little gems after the births of either of my boys. That 4th trimester was rough for me with all sorts of hormone fueled intrusive thoughts and postpartum anxiety. These cards would have been an amazing tool for my mental health and to encourage self care. There are 40 affirmation cards featuring lovely illustrations of mothers and babies that are diverse in several ways including depictions of mothers of various skin colors, mothers with physical disabilities, and mothers wearing head coverings , and even some proudly displaying rolls that pregnancy and life gives many of us. These are not faith based affirmations so you can be secure in giving this gift to friends and family that are any religion or not religious at all. The included journal makes a great tool for moms of newborns to do short daily mental health check-ins, brain dumps or worries, notes from postpartum doctor visits, etc. More than anything, a gift like this lets the mom of a newborn in your life know that you value her mental well being and support her self care needs.  Pressing Pause Pressing Pause: 100 Quiet Moments for Moms to Meet Jesus is a great book for Christian moms at any stage of motherhood. The relatable stories and soul warming biblical insights and prayers are long enough to be meaningful and short enough to fit into a busy mom's schedule. I have come back to this book during several points in the last 6 years I have spent as a mother and it always brings me peace. Free, or close to it, Meaningful Gifts
If none of the above gifts strike your fancy or fit your budget, there are lots of wonderful things you can give that will still support the women that bring the babies we love into this world.
Hopefully, this list gives you some ideas on how to support the moms with new babies in your life. Drop a comment below if you have a go to new mom focused present you swear by.
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We came, we laughed, we cried...okay, I cried... and we drank mimosas. When I was planning this entry, it was to be about the brunch I held to celebrate my impending hysterectomy. Now that I come here to reflect on that day, I realize that God had other plans for a day that was intended to be a tongue in cheek celebration and what amounted to a middle finger in the direction of my very cranky uterus.
First, the logistics. Due to COVID, I held the brunch outside. I live in the south so Oct. 30th can be the perfect time to host an outdoor event. My friends are all vaccinated but it was pretty out and I always rule on the side of caution. I had each one sign up on a google doc to bring a brunch dish and I provided the mimosa bar. I scoured Amazon for some Bye Felicia balloons, uterus confetti, and cute brunch décor. I rented a couple tables and some chairs and told my husband to take the boys out. I did not care where or how much my oldest (age 4) tried to convince me that it should be a "family party." I needed the cloud of testosterone, that I live in as queen of this boy filled castle, gone. My bestie had a shirt made for me that said, "see you later, ovulator," and I paired it with a glam pink tutu skirt and the tiara I wore at my wedding. I was ready to brunch it up! The brunch started out with everyone getting to know each other and partaking in the deliciousness. I had an eclectic mix of ladies there in every stage of motherhood; Mothers about to have an empty nest, mothers of toddlers and ones somewhere in the middle, mothers of multiples and ones with single children, boy moms, girl moms, and those who parent both. I am the first in the group to undergo a hysterectomy but, if statistics are correct, I will not be the last. After some chatter, I stood up and thanked the group for coming to support me. I explained to them that I had this brunch because I wanted to drink mimosas with my friends but also to do my part to erase the taboo of talking about "female problems," because keeping quiet about what it is like, both physically and mentally, to be a woman has hurt and killed far too many of our sisters over the years. I wanted to encourage my friends to talk to each other about the hard stuff and not let anyone make us feel ashamed of who we are and what we feel. I have no ability to not cry when I get emotional so there were some tears as I told them that for the last six years, as I miscarried twice, struggled through two pregnancies and two very different births, had parts of my cervix removed for cancerous cells, and ended up in the hospital getting fluids because I was losing too much blood during my period, my whole focus and that of the doctors was on me as a vessel to carry children. While I was thankful that was what led to my two rainbow babies, I was very much looking forward to being seen by my doctors as a human and not just a reproductive system. It was then that the damn broke and our small talk took on a whole new tone and became much deeper. We spoke openly and freely about post partum depression, anxiety, our sex lives, impending puberty that some with older kids were facing. We laughed about things are mother's had told us that turned out to be way too true and told stories of when and how we got "the talk." We spoke about self worth, ADHD, and how hard and beautiful being a woman is. It was, in short, one of the most beautiful, empowering, and comforting experiences that I have had in a very long time, if not ever. Our pin balling conversations pooled our knowledge and experiences and we all walked away with new product recommendations, parenting strategies, questions to ask our doctors, and, most of all, the sense that we were not alone as women in the things we have gone through and the ways that we feel. It was liberating and life giving and I can't stress enough how much more of this is needed in our communities. We need to have these moments in life where we can strip away the Instagram perfection society seems to aim for and be 100% authentic with each other. We cannot allow our friends to suffer alone. We need to share freely those things that scare us most, anxiety, post partum issues, miscarriages, parenting struggles, relationship stresses, and so much more, because in sharing these things, we not only help others feel seen and heard, but we heal ourselves with the connections we make. As women, we are thought of as the weaker sex so we try so hard to present impenetrable strength to the world. What we don't realize is that our strength truly lies in our vulnerability. The juxtaposition of softness and strength is what makes us unique and powerful, as do the friendships we cultivate with other women. I encourage you all to reach out to a friend or friends and have a good talk about what is really going on in your lives. You don't have to have a full on brunch to do it, though the mimosas might help encourage the sharing. You just need a friend or group of friends willing to cross the bridge with you from the side of what the world sees to who they actually are, Once that happens anything is possible.  I AM HAVING A HYSTERECTOMY!!! If you didn't read that like Oprah giving out a studio full of free cars, go back and do it again. I mean it! Don't you dare read that in the whisper that so many people use when referring to what they call "female problems." Read it with the gusto it deserves because this is a pretty life changing surgery. So life changing, in fact, that the day I got my official surgery date, I sent out invitations for a party to celebrate.
Call it a Hysterectomy Hoopla, a No More Babies Shower, or a Bye Bye Bye Uterus Brunch, my friends and I were going to spend the morning drinking mimosas and toasting my angry uterus with a whole-hearted, "Good Riddance." The R.S.V.P. of, "yes," came back unanimously and almost immediately from my small list of invitees, with comments of "I love this" and "Finally!" I have the best group of friends a girl could ask for but, why throw a party to celebrate removing my uterus and, better yet, who gets excited and goes to such a party? Well, the why is many fold. 1. Anything to do with the female reproductive system is seen as taboo. People still talk about hysterectomies in hushed tones or not at all. I am not about that life. According to the Illinois Department of Public Health, 1 in 3 women have a hysterectomy by age 60 so, we should be talking about this more not suffering in silence. 2. People have actually asked if I think be will be sad or feel like less of a woman once I am uterus free. When my mom had her hysterectomy in the 80s, her doctor's wife actually wrote her a note that said how brave she thought my mom was to have the surgery done and that she needed one but wouldn't feel like a woman, if she went through with it, so she wasn't going to get this medically necessary surgery. Clearly, this was before HIPAA and super weird of her to write her husband's patient like that but, there are still people that won’t get surgery that is needed for that reason! I am here to say, I am still going to be amazing, feminine, and happy without all the pain so it is a win win. 3. Though I am forever grateful for the children she carried for me, my uterus is a bitch with a bad attitude and we should celebrate ending any relationship that toxic. 4. Milestones come in lots of different forms besides just babies, weddings, birthdays etc. 5. I love mimosas, brunch food, and my friends. 6. Surgery is scary and this will give me something to think about and look forward to as my surgery date draws closer. So pop the corks and add a splash of juice because this lady is canceling her monthly subscription! |
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