My "No More Babies" Shower

I AM HAVING A HYSTERECTOMY!!! If you didn't read that like Oprah giving out a studio full of free cars, go back and do it again.  I mean it!  Don't you dare read that in the whisper that so many people use when referring to what they call "female problems."  Read it with the gusto it deserves because this is a pretty life changing surgery. So life changing, in fact, that the day I got my official surgery date, I sent out invitations for a party to celebrate.

Call it a Hysterectomy Hoopla, a No More Babies Shower, or a Bye Bye Bye Uterus Brunch, my friends and I were going to spend the morning drinking mimosas and toasting my angry uterus with a whole-hearted, "Good Riddance."  The R.S.V.P. of, "yes," came back unanimously and almost immediately from my small list of invitees, with comments of "I love this" and "Finally!" 

I have the best group of friends a girl could ask for but, why throw a party to celebrate removing my uterus and, better yet, who gets excited and goes to such a party?  Well, the why is many fold.

1. Anything to do with the female reproductive system is seen as taboo. People still talk about hysterectomies in hushed tones or not at all. I am not about that life.  According to the Illinois Department of  Public Health, 1 in 3 women have a hysterectomy by age 60 so, we should be talking about this more not suffering in silence. 

2. People have actually asked if I think be will be sad or feel like less of a woman once I am uterus free.  When my mom had her hysterectomy in the 80s, her doctor's wife actually wrote her a note that said how brave she thought my mom was to have the surgery done and that she needed one but wouldn't feel like a woman, if she went through with it, so she wasn't going to get this medically necessary surgery. Clearly, this was before HIPAA and super weird of her to write her husband's patient like that but, there are still people that won’t get surgery that is needed for that reason! I am here to say, I am still going to be amazing, feminine, and happy without all the pain so it is a win win.

3. Though I am forever grateful for the children she carried for me, my uterus is a bitch with a bad attitude and we should celebrate ending any relationship that toxic.

4. Milestones come in lots of different forms besides just babies, weddings, birthdays etc.

5. I love mimosas, brunch food, and my friends.
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6. Surgery is scary and this will give me something to think about and look forward to as my surgery date draws closer.

So pop the corks and add a splash of juice because this lady is canceling her monthly subscription! 
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